UFO statement

HEADLINE: Dozens see UFO over Texas town.

Once again, we would like to make this statement so that we are not accused of being crazy. This is our official position here at BIRCHES.



There is NO SUCH THING as a flying saucer. We know this is true, because:
1. We have never seen one.
2. The American military says there is no such thing, and that's as good as you can get. When our military people say something, you can take it to the bank.

So, the claims of these people in this town to have seen something UFO-ish is utter nonsense.
CLICK .

That policeman, those business owners, and those dozens of other people are either:
1. drunk, or
2. lying, or
3. crazy.

So let's have no more such talk.