Saturday, May 31, 2008

They're Coming to Take Me Away (File #19)

Clinton C. Grainger, 22, of Snohomish, Washington, is arrested following the shooting of 3 people at a folk festival. See the little folksy pixie in the background?

The shooting of three people in any U.S. city on any day is nothing notable, really. It's routine.

What's interesting about this case is that the gentlemen arrested here is in fact a mental case with a perfectly legal license to carry a concealed weapon:
"He applied for a permit with the Snohomish County Sheriff's Office, and it was approved in January 2007 after a background check showed no disqualifying history, police said."

The forces for uncontrolled gun ownership will tell you that if the laws are enforced, the crazy people won't have guns. This turns out to be not true. This is what the Prosecting Attorney had to say, and he's not just any old lawyer off the curb, he's an expert in mental health and the law:
Under state and federal law, a mental health diagnosis by itself isn't enough to invalidate someone's right to firearms or a concealed weapon permit, said Eric Nelson, state assistant attorney general, who chaired a Washington state workgroup on mental health and firearms access after the Virginia Tech massacre last year.
Tell that to the guy who was shot in the nose.   CLICK

Wacko of the Week, 05/31/08

VACLAV TICHY, and friends, Czech Football Federation

In Europe, soccer is a big deal. Or, as Europeans refer to the sport, Futbal.

There was a gala event in Prague this week. The Czech Republic's home team was facing a match against a prestigious rival. Appropriately, national anthems were played: that of the Czech Republic and that of Latvia. The Czech and Latvian flags were flown.

Unfortunately, it was the Lithuanian team that had showed up. As scheduled.

My, wasn't there embarrassment. And anger. The LIthuanians did not want to be represented as Latvians. Apologies were offered, even to the level of ambassadors and governments.

Mr. Tichy the President of the Czech Football Federation was forced to resign. Well, he offered to take responsibility, and Bingo! the responsibility was assessed. His assistant was fired, as well.

The Czechs won the match, 2-0. That's one point per fired functionary. CLICK

Also in the running:
1. The Rev. Howard Douglas Porter, who went on trial in California this week for murder in the death of a crippled man whose estate he was in change of. The estate was worth 2.5 million and his Reverence had managed to transfer much of it to Mexico, allegedly. The dead man was thus configured as a consequence of an auto accident in which the Reverend was driving, and the poor deceased was crippled as a consequence of a previous auto accident in which the Reverend was driving. CLICK

2. Cody Eugene Williams, 27, of California, was arrested this week, naked, and attempting to fornicate with the windshield of a taxi cab on a public street. This is considered bad form, even in California where strange things often happen. And, ahem, he is. it seems, a serial offender. As one wag remarked, this is a form of auto-eroticism. CLICK

3. Maulvi Ziauddin, of Pakistan, a poor struggling teacher, whose idea of punishment was to hang a seven year-old student upside from a ceiling fan. The boy died. The teacher is in the slammer.
Oh, by the way, the kid was punished for not reading his Koran. The teacher will now be punished for reading his. There is a saying about paths of destruction and good intentions, but I forget. Was that in the Koran or in the Bible? CLICK

Friday, May 30, 2008

Quoted without further comment

London Evening Standard
May 29 2008

"If there ever was a time for men to avoid the cinema, this weekend is it.
The Sex And The City film had its UK release last night with many cinemas full to the brim of extremely excited women - and hardly a man to be seen."

For What It's Worth

Holy man

This is my thought about the priest who cracked up the congregation with his comedy routine about Hillary Clinton: You're an idiot. Clearly, the lessons of the priesthood were lost on you as you made your way through your theological studies. You are somewhat funny, in my opinion, but probably you should stick to administering the Sacraments.

The Beatitudes have escaped you.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Goodbye Harvey Korman

...Let's Go! ...

(Richie Havens and John Sebastian at the MUSEUM)

who's game? 

Opens June 2, 2008 at Noon
The Museum at Bethel Woods is an immersive and captivating multi-media experience that combines film and interactive displays, text panels and artifacts to explore the unique experience of the Woodstock festival, its significance as the culminating event of a decade of radical cultural transformation, and the legacy of the Sixties and Woodstock today.


Thursday Morning Smile-Maker (46)

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

What Bad People Do

Here they are: Two fellas from the White House. One is parading as president and the other as a communications man.

Scott McClellan was the mouthpiece for the President. He lied as he swore he was telling us the truth. Now he says he was spouting propaganda. He said he was "misguided." CLICK

You DO UNDERSTAND, don't you my people out there, that this is the man sent out by the government to tell us the truth but who was instructed to lie? I suppose we have become so cynical about the government and its people that we expect nothing but propaganda. This makes us as bad as our handlers.

Oh, I know that press secretaries have lied before. And we can blame Scott McClellan for his duplicity! This, however, demonstrates the evil of the Bush government, the cynicism, the disregard for democratic values, the disdain for the niceties of moral leadership.

It will destroy our democracy. We need to start expecting the truth.


Here's as assignment for those who have a bit of time and curiosity

Go here CLICK and scroll down to the item called:

On Generals Testifying Before Congress
A Mash Note - April 14, 2008

Read it,
Then tell me what you think.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Tuesday Evening Quiz 05/27/08

send an email






Republican Humor (52)

A father happened to see his young boy busily constructing something in the barn. He approached the boy and was shocked to see him playing with cow manure!

He asked, "Hey, son! What ARE you doing?"

The boy replied, "I am making a Nancy Pelosi figure, Daddy."

Now, thoroughly taken aback, the man asked, "Why are you making her? Why not make, er, Hillary Clinton?"

The boy answered, "Oh no, I can't make Hillary."

"But why not?" asked the father.

The boy replied, "Well, Daddy, there isn't enough bullshit here to make any Clinton."

Monday, May 26, 2008

Penguins Lay Another Egg


Penguins 0

Solution to last quiz

ALICE 3 right
MARSHA 3 right


FELIX 4 right
IRENE and TONY - 4 right


1. Paris
2. Washington D.C.
3. Rome
4. New York
5. San Francisco

Monday Morning Friends Report, May 26, 2008

Everyone around here is talking about and complaining about the price of gas. But, then, everyone else in the world is as well. Scot has written about it on ARBORETUM. For Michigan, like other states which depend heavily on tourism, this could be just one more blow to an economy already suffering from auto industry blues. Thankfully, the weather here has warmed up a bit.

SCOT, TRASE: Here's the 'new car.'
They packed the tent and went camping by Waterloo. They think it will save a thousand dollars a year in gas money.

PAT W - celebrated her birthday this week. She got a gift of golf lessons.

SPARTY - also had golf lessons. He has been playing a lot, and the lessons are paying off.

DASHMANN - celebrated his birthday on May 24. This also happens to be International Schizophrenia Day (you wonder who decides this stuff) so we asked him if it were a mere coicidence that they put that celebration on HIS birthday. Here was his droll answer: "Maybe yes, maybe no."

MARIE S - is doing well back at home after her very serious illness.

AMY - came to Guinness Club this week and was very welcome.

STEVE and BRENDA - in the U.P. this weekend, camping.

BIG D. - has stepped in to pick up some of the duties of organizing and reporting among the Bridgeport crowd that others have been doing. This is welcomed by everyone we know. Thanks, pal.

JIM T - We note that the tornado that almost hit Minneapolis did not hit our erstwhile friend Jim who lives there.

IRISH MIKE - is loving the good weather and the rowing.

MICHIGAN BUCKS - Michigan's soccer team, the BUCKS have opened their summer season with a series of wins. This has been perhaps the best minor league soccer team in the United States over the past few years. It used to be centered in Mid Michigan but has moved to the Detroit area. Look in on them: CLICK

FELIX: One of his little projects. You can see it it on the John Mellencamp estate.

Among his many talents, Felix is a master landscaper.


Here are some things people are talking about these days

GIGI - wants to tell anyone who will listen what she thinks of George W. This is not pretty, but if you're strong, you should ask her.

DASHMANN - says that Andy Rooney's essay on Sunday Sixty Minutes which concerned the need to find a better way of dealing with the world than making war, also reflects his own opinion. He thinks Obama will possibly have a better idea about peace and war. The Rooney video essay can be seen here: CLICK

ALICE - is talking about the court decision in the case of the "polygamists' compound" in Texas. She is not surprised that the court says the children should never have been snatched by the state from their parents. She predicted this outcome.

Here are some things people are smiling about these days

JERRY - Maintains his good humor despite some recent health issues. He says that a Church CHOIR is --- A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the Parish to lip-sync.

He also sent along this Maxine goody:

MARGARET - sent this note about the art of passive-aggressive note writing. You can see it here: CLICK We laughed, but then are trying to figure out if she has a message for us in this note.

JERRY - "There are three people who have been known to walk on water: Jesus, the Apostle Peter,

and this guy:

Goodbye Dick Martin

From all the Farkles. We still remember you.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

recommended reading

" so backward they'd call a woman a lady..."

Go here to read a very witty, pointed response to Mrs. Clinton's frequent claims of being a victim of sexism; and written by a woman.


Sunday SILLY Sites #26

See the 15 most awesome celebrity mullets: CLICK

Most dangerous toys of all time: CLICK

Another one of those humbling little U.S. Geography Quizzes. Test yourself on "school kid knowledge." CLICK

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Crosby Stilled and Abashed

RED WINGS   4 (+1),   

Burma aid update

On Friday, the military dictatorship of Burma (Myanmar) agreed to let aid workers from all countries enter the cyclone afflicted areas of the nation to bring help to the sick and dying people there. The government still denies access to any military forces from any country. CLICK

Whether or not the promises will be followed by true in-depth action remains to be seen.

Hillary Clinton, Shark Bait


What's more fun than seeing all those "newspeople" snapping around like sharks in bloody water, looking for something to chew on.

Ms Clinton's done it again. She wondered aloud why she should drop out of the election before June when many other candidates in the past have gone this long -- and longer. Well, Duh-h. Even Barack hasn't got it sewn up, yet.

The hunk of meat she dangled was the assassination of Bobby Kennedy. Nothing wrong with that. That event did happen in a bygone June, and now here she is living in a country that's even more armed to the teeth, with every half-wit better equipped than Clint Eastwood in Unforgiven. They are not only running loose but bragging about it!

Any American who claims not to think of the possibility of a recurrence of assassination has not only forgotten his American history but is a stinking liar.

So, in my humble opinion, Hillary said nothing wrong, but she is perfectly wise to keep saying things that will put her front-and-center in the shark tank. She's also wise to apologize because that's what the snapping news sharks want, and it helps to keep them talking.

Wacko of the Week, 05/24/08

This time our Wacko of the Week is HUGO CHAVEZ, Colorful Leader of Venezuela.

El Presidente Hugo the Loud has decided to play power politics with the United States.

The occasion: an American plane either wandered -- or was deliberately sent to wander -- over some part of a little Venezuelan island out there off the shore in the Caribbean Sea. Ostensibly, it was looking for drug runners.

Hugo's words: "They are spying, even testing our capacity to react," Chavez said in a televised speech. "We are not going to allow the violation of our sovereignty." Chavez said that his pilots were "starting their engines" shortly after the U.S. Navy plane was detected. CLICK

This would be a dangerous game for people who live on the other side of the world, such as, for example, AFGHANISTAN.
This is a dangerous thing to do for people who have big and powerful military forces, such as oh, you know, IRAQ.
This is a dangerous thing to do for people who have no oil, like let's say, SOMALIA.
This is a dangerous game to play with an American leader who's fairly level-headed such as Reagan. But, remember LEBANON and GRENADA?

Venezuela is a country that supplies the U.S. with oil. It lies just across the American bathtub, the Caribbean. It is a trans-shipment point for American nose candy, cocaine. And, the U.S. has a leader who swats flies like Venezuela practically every year.

Look out Mr. Chavez. That used aircraft carrier and those used fighter planes you just bought from Russia are just the sort of things the U.S. Navy would like to play video games with.

Yo, Hugo: Put away your joystick and ¡Cierre su boca!


1. Edmund Leshen of Virginia. We've tried to warn you people before, if you're going to run afoul of the law, it's better to try to blend in with your surroundings. This gentleman tried. He was hiding in a tattoo shop when they came looking for him for weapons charges. He was still easy to spot.

2. Adrian Apgar, of Florida. In 2006, he was rescued from the mouth of an alligator he had decided to wrestle in a town pond. Then, he was pretty well chewed up. In fact, there was a big chunk missing from his ass. In March this year, he was rescued whilst wading around in another town pond, naked, chasing an alligator. His injuries were much less, although one of the charges had to do with those exposed genitals of his. Now, he failed to report for a court date, so they went and found him. He's back in jail. click

Friday, May 23, 2008

Kurds in way

EDMONTON, Alberta, May 23 (UPI) -- Three Kurdish refugees were recovering Friday from beatings in Edmonton, Alberta, after a rampaging gang swarmed a cafe a day earlier.

Witnesses told police more than 20 men armed with metal batons, knives and stones stormed the Ankara Cafe around 4 p.m. Thursday and beat eight people and badly damaged the cafe, the Edmonton Sun reported.

Three of the victims required hospital care but the injuries weren't considered life-threatening, police said.

Investigators were looking into claims by patrons the mob was composed of Turks, the report said.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

BIRCHES is one year old. 

The first posting ever on BIRCHES can be seen here: CLICK

Yes, it was sarcastic.

To be honest with you, I know that not everyone understands my blog, some folks don't think my humor is funny, and I know my sarcasm may escape a lot of folks.

But, I like it, and I hope enough people like it well enough to keep me going for a while longer. Demented genius like this needs a bit of encouragement now and then.
I would appreciate creative criticism, by the way. 
And remember, it's free!

by Robert Frost

When I see birches bend to left and right
Across the lines of straighter darker trees,
I like to think some boy's been swinging them.
But swinging doesn't bend them down to stay.
Ice-storms do that. Often you must have seen them
Loaded with ice a sunny winter morning
After a rain. They click upon themselves
As the breeze rises, and turn many-coloured
As the stir cracks and crazes their enamel.
Soon the sun's warmth makes them shed crystal shells
Shattering and avalanching on the snow-crust
Such heaps of broken glass to sweep away
You'd think the inner dome of heaven had fallen.
They are dragged to the withered bracken by the load,
And they seem not to break; though once they are bowed
So low for long, they never right themselves:
You may see their trunks arching in the woods
Years afterwards, trailing their leaves on the ground,
Like girls on hands and knees that throw their hair
Before them over their heads to dry in the sun.
But I was going to say when Truth broke in
With all her matter-of-fact about the ice-storm,
I should prefer to have some boy bend them
As he went out and in to fetch the cows--
Some boy too far from town to learn baseball,
Whose only play was what he found himself,
Summer or winter, and could play alone.
One by one he subdued his father's trees
By riding them down over and over again
Until he took the stiffness out of them,
And not one but hung limp, not one was left
For him to conquer. He learned all there was
To learn about not launching out too soon
And so not carrying the tree away
Clear to the ground. He always kept his poise
To the top branches, climbing carefully
With the same pains you use to fill a cup
Up to the brim, and even above the brim.
Then he flung outward, feet first, with a swish,
Kicking his way down through the air to the ground.
So was I once myself a swinger of birches.
And so I dream of going back to be.
It's when I'm weary of considerations,
And life is too much like a pathless wood
Where your face burns and tickles with the cobwebs
Broken across it, and one eye is weeping
From a twig's having lashed across it open.
I'd like to get away from earth awhile
And then come back to it and begin over.
May no fate wilfully misunderstand me
And half grant what I wish and snatch me away
Not to return. Earth's the right place for love:
I don't know where it's likely to go better.
I'd like to go by climbing a birch tree~
And climb black branches up a snow-white trunk
Toward heaven, till the tree could bear no more,
But dipped its top and set me down again.
That would be good both going and coming back.
One could do worse than be a swinger of birches.

What Bad People Do

Vandals damage Stonehenge

May 22 2008
Vandals used a hammer and screwdriver to vandalise the Stonehenge ancient monument, the first such incident for decades, officials said Thursday.
The night-time attack by two men last week involved the central megalith in the 5,000-year-old ring of standing stones, with English Heritage saying the vandals could have been looking for a souvenir. CLICK

"...rivers and ponds were still full of corpses..."

"In 30-plus years of humanitarian emergency work this is by far -- by far! -- the largest case of emergency need we've ever seen," said Lionel Rosenblatt, president of the U.S.-based Refugees International. "And yet right offshore, right here in Thailand, we have the means to save these people."

Where evil reigns -- Burma

"Myanmar is at risk of famine" following this month's cyclone. So says the European Union's Humanitarian Aid Commissioner, M. Louis Michel.

Meanwhile, the government o the country refuses to allow British, America, and French ships -- with thousands of tons of supplies -- into the country.

Tuesday Quiz note

There has not been much activity on this, so far, but two people have 4 out of 5 correct.  

Thursday Morning Smile-Maker (45)

A Face Wash for Ben 

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Myanmar update

More reason why
Crimes Against Humanity
charges should be filed against this man, Burmese tyrant Than Shwe.

As of just today, May 21, the Secretary General of the United Nations was still waiting in Thailand for permission to enter Myanmar (Burma) with the "hope" of seeing the ruling military dictator. He wants to pressure that government to allow in more international aid.

The situation in the storm ravaged country was described by the Secretary General as "critical." It is thought that at least 130,000 people are dead so far, with hundreds of thousands now facing illness and starvation.

Republican Humor (51)

A needy Democrat died and friends went around collecting for a fund for his funeral.

A woman was asked to donate. "How much are most people giving," she asked.

"About ten dollars," was the answer.

"Just ten dollars?" she said. "If it only takes ten dollars to bury a Democrat take this hundred and go bury a whole bunch of them!"

They're Coming to Take Me Away (File #18)

OTTAWA (Reuters) - "A Canadian man who asked his lover to carve a heart-shaped symbol on his chest during a rough sex game almost died when she accidentally pressed too hard and punctured his heart, a newspaper said on Thursday. The Winnipeg Free Press said the 25-year-old woman had been sentenced to three years' probation..." click

A Light Through the Leaves

We must not be selfish or timid if we hope to have a decent world for our children and grandchildren.

We simply must balance our demand for energy with our rapidly shrinking resources. By acting now, we can control our future instead of letting the future control us.

-Jimmy Carter in a televised speech, April 18, 1977.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Tot Not Shot By Intruder; accident defending home

Child dies of self-inflicted gunshot

May 20, 2008 at 12:43 AM

PHOENIX, May 20 (UPI) -- A 3-year-old boy died of an apparently self-inflicted gunshot wound Monday in Arizona, police said.

We think probably that the boy had legally registered the gun with the local police after passing a firearms safety course given by the local NRA. Deatils not immediately available. click

Tuesday Evening Quiz

Which city is shown in each picture?
(clicking on picture will enlarge it)






A Crime Against Humanity

The small voice of this blog, BIRCHES, contributes its support for the position taken by the European Union:

EU warns Myanmar of a "crime against humanity"

"The European Union has warned Myanmar's military leaders that they could be committing "a crime against humanity" by blocking aid deliveries to cyclone survivors. The European Development Commissioner, Louis Michel, is on his way to the former Burma to try to convince them to open up their borders."

The denial of assistance to its own people from the outside world is ipso facto a Crime Against Humanity. Refusing to allow delivery of life-saving food , water, and medical supplies to suffering people, is a crime. The US and its allies should take the initiative in pursuing these charges in the World Court.

Monday, May 19, 2008

What Bad People Do

US sniper shot at Koran in Iraq

Baghdad Iraq (BBC) - An American sniper has been sent home from Iraq for using a copy of the Koran for target practice at a shooting range near Baghdad, the US military says. The Muslim holy book was found riddled with bullet holes last week by Iraqi police, who also discovered offensive graffiti inside its cover.

A US military spokesman said the soldier had been removed from his unit, sent home, and would be disciplined

Monday Morning Friends Report, May 19, 2008

A lot is going on under the BIRCHES these days, and we find ourselves busy, yet happy. Some of our friends are too busy, and we worry about them.

What's been happening
PAT W - if even a few people has as much fun at her post-theater gathering as she had preparing for it and hostessing it, then the total amount of happiness in the universe has grown tremendously. Everyone had a nice evening, we think, although BOB had this to say: "Too Many Words!" OLYMPIA was the cutest lady at the party. TIM showed his new convertible, a Saab that everyone thought was perfect for him. HOWARD found himself surrounded by Democrats, something he doesn't often experience. LORI introduced the crowd to her brother whose birthday it was, and he proved to be as witty, pleasant, and sociable as she is. BUD drank too much wine.

MARSHA - reporting that the Gamecocks of South Carolina are in the baseball playoffs again this year. She also reports that her 'Spring Homecoming' at the University was a great success (and we know that's because of her.)

BUD - notes that the Michigan Wolverines are still in the baseball playoff picture, too.

STEVE - making a list of U.P. log cabins for sale. This is very interesting to the whole family who have that "up north" urge. Steve says the prices are down-down-down. Hmm But gas prices are up-up-up: a new meaning for the initials UP. But STEVE and BRENDA plan to spend Memorial Day weekend at the "camp" in the woods up north. Their dogs are counting on it.

to CLAF - it has been noted that once again you have won your own horse racing pool. At some point, a major investigation will be called for.

IRISH MIKE - here's something we didn't know. When he was a kid, he was an altar boy. Anyone see the resemblance now?

FELIX - with so much depending on spring work in his artistic landscaping endeavors, the rain has been "driving me crazy." He promises pictures of some of his work soon.

GIGi - her new room is done. So, when's the party? She's also very proud of her nephew, despite his devilish giggle. The kid did a great job!

MARIE - has escaped her brush with death, and is doing much better at last report.

BILL from WNNCO - has become a promoter of Cindy McCain for First Lady. "She has been a positive force in many charities and activley participates in them instead of just making appearances and donating money. She seems to be different from most celebrity wives or personnas." Bill announces that Christian Conrad is the new addition to the family. Congratulations to the whole clan!

MIKE CARROLL almost from CARROLLTON - is a grandfather! This new grandson is named Levi Michael. Congratulations to you and your children!

SCOT - is doing some "pro bono" work for the Ann Arbor Soccer Association. He also says that while he spent the weekend helping his brother with some home maintenance projects in Grand Rapids, he was lulled to sleep at night by the sounds of gunshots in the neighborhood.

ALICE - continues to recover from her bout with bad health, is still on leave from work, and is spending her tax rebate.

DASHMANN - has a birthday on Saturday. I won't tell you what gift he wants, children may be reading.

What some folks are Talking About

BIRCHES RECEIVED, from a good friend, a promotion for the idea of boycotting everything Chinese-made from June 4 to July 4.
EXCERPT: "While the Chinese, knowingly and intentionally, export inferior products and dangerous toys and goods to be sold in American markets, the media wrings its hands and criticizes the Bush Administration for perceived errors. Yet 70% of Americans believe that the trading privileges afforded to the Chinese should be suspended. Well, duh..why do you need the government to suspend trading privileges? DO IT YOURSELF!!"

You might want to know that the effort is being pushed by the American WHITE PEOPLE'S PARTY, and you can read about it here: CLICK

Now the fact that fanatics may have an interest in the idea doesn't necessarily make it bad, so you can decide for yourself whether or not the boycott has merit.

Meanwhile, we've had a good laugh over the whole thing. It's the wolf in sheep's clothing thing all over again.

BILL from WNNCO - says about a Chinese boycott: "What good would it do? Everything we do involves China. Turn almost anything over and see where it's made!"

ALICE - is passing on news that maybe the Justice Department will collect DNA from political protesters. Peace groups are worried about this and spreading the news. Such a thing would be a real threat to free speech. Read more about it here CLICK We don't know how much of this is true.

SEVERAL friends have forwarded e-mails lately about the dangers of stroke, and how to identify the symptoms. The advice always includes: Don't waste time. If you think a person has had a stoke, get them emergency aid as quick as possible.


S: Ask the individual to SMILE.

ST: Ask the indidivdual sto stick out his tongue.

TS: Ask the person to TALK and SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE

R: Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS.

If he or she has trouble with ANY of these tasks, get them to emergency.

HILLARY AD SPOOF - was forwarded by a reader, and it was was pretty funny. A low quality copy of the ad is shown on YouTube here: CLICK

DASHMANN - sent this caustic "If I Were A Terrorist Video": CLICK

SANDY - says that the idea of boycotting a particular brand of gas to force the prices down sounds like a good idea. We have passed the boycott date of May 15, but the idea is discussed here in more detail: CLICK

What Some Folks Are Laughing At


Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,
'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'


Monday Morning Friends Report is delayed

Quiz answers revealed

Here is the answer

The A-B-C-D pictures were in this order:
- Bixby, Bill
- Cougat, Xavier
- Day, Dennis
A - Aznavour, Charles

SPARTY gets the gold star!

Sunday, May 18, 2008

A Light Through the Leaves

"Trying is the first step towards failure."
-Homer Simpson

Sunday silly Sites #25

World's most dangerous hike: click 
(Strongly recommended for Bush who told the President of France he wanted to go mountain climbing.)

Selling crap to Christians. (A little satire here!) click

OBAMACORN - 'Obama and the unicorn' shirts for sale: click

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Recommended Reading

The value of the male schoolteacher
Opinion by Derrick Jackson, Boston Globe
According to the National Education Association, 9 percent of elementary school teachers are men.

Education researcher Shaun Johnson of Indiana University says low wages and prestige relative to what men can find elsewhere, plus notions of masculinity, fears of being accused of sexual abuse, and even undercurrents of homophobia dissuade men from the craft.

"There are so many elephants in the room with a man in a classroom of young children," said Johnson, 30, who was a fifth-grade teacher in Washington, D.C. "Token males routinely say they are under higher scrutiny by principals and parents. Men get the message something is wrong with them, from being told they can't change diapers in child care to you must always leave your classroom door open. Even when they are valued, it often comes with a stereotype. I've heard men teachers complain that they're always sent the problem students because people see them as the disciplinarian who strikes the fear of God in them."


" isolated incident..."

We must never cease to be amazed at the nonsense that surrounds the gun culture.  For example, some patriotic deer hunter with a SEMIAUTOMATIC rifle, shot his wife and two other people at a Catholic church gathering.   And what do the cops say about this? 

"We believe this is an isolated incident, a domestic-violence dispute," said police Captain Steven Ruiz.

Isolated? Incident?
Well, it happened before the opening prayer, so perhaps it was not a sin.

Wacko of the Week, 05/17/08

There are some easy nominees for any wackiness award this week. One of them is Bush the Bombastic for his comments in Israel about Nazis and Americans. The Nazi comparison has grown so tired and it's usually - as in this case - misused.

Another nominee might be the military government of Burma for letting its people suffer and die while the world begs to help them after a horrific cyclone.

However, both of these are not really good cases for our Wacko of the Week Award because they're too extreme. Bush is more than wacky, we think. He's just plain malicious and dumb and was reading the words written for him by someone else. The Burma government is evil, not merely a little looney. (This is a truer Nazi comparison if Bush wishes to feel around for one. Instead of looking among the peace-makers of the world, he should look among the devils of the world.)

So, here's our winner:
Rep. Steve Cohen, D-Tenn
(find him somewhere in this picture)

Rep. Steve Cohen, D-Tenn, an Obama supporter, compared Clinton to the Glenn Close character in "Fatal Attraction" -- a spurned woman turned stalker who was apparently drowned in a bathtub only to jump up one more time to be shot dead.

"Glenn Close should have stayed in that tub, and Sen. Clinton has had a remarkable career and needs to move to the next step, which is helping elect the Democratic nominee," Cohen said during a local TV interview. CLICK

Why is he wacky?
1. Because he later apologized for one of the funniest things anyone has said in this election cycle.
2. Because he could find Hillary in any way as sexy as Glenn Close in "Fatal Attraction."
3. Because he has definitely alienated liberal women in his state whom he will need for the next election. To suggest drowning the first woman ever to have a serious chance at the presidency is a screw-up he will come to rue.

1. CLYDE BRIDGES of Barnstable, Mass. - There is a church out there in Massachusetts called the Portuguese Foursquare Church, and it has a congregation. Mr. Bridges attempted to steal the collection plate at lighter point. It was a gun shaped cigarette lighter, but the folks weren't fooled. They knocked him down, pinned him to the floor, and called the cops. Christian charity hath its limits.

2. JOEL DAVID ARSENEAU of Halifax, Nova Scotia - Until his court appearance, he was homeless. Now he has a home. During his hearing before Judge Barbara Beach, he dropped his pants and asked her for oral sex. Imagine this: They locked him up. CLICK

[Dear Reader: Your nominations are welcome.]

Friday, May 16, 2008

without further comment

What else is our Valorous Decider saying these days?

"A lot of times in politics you have people look you in the eye and tell you what's not on their mind."
in Russia, April, 2008