El Presidente Hugo the Loud has decided to play power politics with the United States.
The occasion: an American plane either wandered -- or was deliberately sent to wander -- over some part of a little Venezuelan island out there off the shore in the Caribbean Sea. Ostensibly, it was looking for drug runners.
Hugo's words: "They are spying, even testing our capacity to react," Chavez said in a televised speech. "We are not going to allow the violation of our sovereignty." Chavez said that his pilots were "starting their engines" shortly after the U.S. Navy plane was detected. CLICK
This would be a dangerous game for people who live on the other side of the world, such as, for example, AFGHANISTAN.
This is a dangerous thing to do for people who have big and powerful military forces, such as oh, you know, IRAQ.
This is a dangerous thing to do for people who have no oil, like let's say, SOMALIA.
This is a dangerous game to play with an American leader who's fairly level-headed such as Reagan. But, remember LEBANON and GRENADA?
Venezuela is a country that supplies the U.S. with oil. It lies just across the American bathtub, the Caribbean. It is a trans-shipment point for American nose candy, cocaine. And, the U.S. has a leader who swats flies like Venezuela practically every year.
Look out Mr. Chavez. That used aircraft carrier and those used fighter planes you just bought from Russia are just the sort of things the U.S. Navy would like to play video games with.
Yo, Hugo: Put away your joystick and ¡Cierre su boca!
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RUNNERS-UP
1. Edmund Leshen of Virginia. We've tried to warn you people before, if you're going to run afoul of the law, it's better to try to blend in with your surroundings. This gentleman tried. He was hiding in a tattoo shop when they came looking for him for weapons charges. He was still easy to spot.
2. Adrian Apgar, of Florida. In 2006, he was rescued from the mouth of an alligator he had decided to wrestle in a town pond. Then, he was pretty well chewed up. In fact, there was a big chunk missing from his ass. In March this year, he was rescued whilst wading around in another town pond, naked, chasing an alligator. His injuries were much less, although one of the charges had to do with those exposed genitals of his. Now, he failed to report for a court date, so they went and found him. He's back in jail. click
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