Birches: Monday morning friends report.

Try to keep us updated on your activities. Here is what news we have of friends around the birches, what they're seeing, what they're laughing at, what they're doing. Let us know about holiday plans. I'll be asking you some questions about that soon.
I hope you will all plan to give at least one someone, at least one book. Also, if you are able, contribute to your local "food kitchen" or "food pantry."
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MARSHA - sent PAT W. a Christmas present with instructions to open immediately. A picture of the gift is below. Pat had to promise to share it with others. It is, as you can see, a religious gift: a church with birds in its belfry. On each of the holy days of Advent, one removes a little bird and places it on its perch outside a little window. It is as cute as hell .... I mean, heaven. You can see that there is a little bluebird above the front portico and a little red bird on the side. Today, another bird will be revealed.
Word from PAT is: THANK YOU. Everyone who sees it loves it.

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IRENE - addressing the matter of tasering wrote this:
"To stop his criminal behaviour,
They could give Dick Cheney a taser.
His weak heart muscle
Won't stand the tussle,
And we would all be done a favour!

Irene may be in another country, but she hasn't stopped being American, too.
--
She also says this: As for more funny Japanese things on the web - have you seen the human tetris? CLICK
(I went and watched it. It's hysterical.)
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LEN - took some friends on a backstage tour of the local community theater, Pit and Balcony, where he has been working as a volunteer on the set. This set is a castle for the musical "SOUND OF MUSIC." He and others have built a wonderful looking set. An interesting and educational little tour. Thanks.
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JERRY - (a retiree) sent a FAQ sheet about retirees. Some were pretty funny. Here are a couple I especially liked:

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: "The never ending Coffee Break."

Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.
--

JERRY also sent a picture of an absolutely amazing helicopter rescue in Afghanistan.

I checked out its accuracy and Snopes says it is absolutely true. Further research turned up this demonstration which you should definitely go see.
CLICK FOR MORE
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IRISH MIKE - is still looking for the world's perfect glass of Guinness. (It is Irish, you know!) He has found many great ones, but you see, there's always a chance that somewhere, there's the "perfect" one. Now he's thinking maybe Nigeria because of this story, which says that Guinness is declining in many places, but not Nigeria or America: CLICK

Then, this discovery: turns out Guinness is a Nigerian mainstay industry! It's either oil or "getting oiled" there. I'm game. Grab your passport and let's go!

Guinness Nigeria
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

"Foreign Extra Stout, the main product of Guinness Nigeria. See also the back label
Guinness Nigeria plc is a Nigerian brewery founded in 1962. Guinness and Unilever are the main shareholders, although some of the shares are owned locally.

The main beer is Foreign Extra Stout (7.5% ABV). This is now brewed under license from Guinness, using a concentrate sent from Dublin which is dark stout with the water removed. It is then blended with a local pale beer. Nigeria is the third largest and fastest-growing Guinness market in the world. The sweeter taste of this offering is often said to be a result of the sorghum used as a part of the recipe."
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SPARTY - tells us that according to the New YorkTimes,
These are the best fiction books of 2007:
MAN GONE DOWN By Michael Thomas.

OUT STEALING HORSES By Per Petterson.

THE SAVAGE DETECTIVES By Roberto Bolaño.

THEN WE CAME TO THE END By Joshua Ferris.

TREE OF SMOKE By Denis Johnson.

And these are the 5 best non-fiction books
IMPERIAL LIFE IN THE EMERALD CITY: Inside Iraq's Green Zone. By Rajiv Chandrasekaran.

LITTLE HEATHENS: Hard Times and High Spirits on an Iowa Farm During the Great Depression.
By Mildred Armstrong Kalish.

THE NINE: Inside the Secret World of the Supreme Court. By Jeffrey Toobin.

THE ORDEAL OF ELIZABETH MARSH: A Woman in World History. By Linda Colley.

THE REST IS NOISE: Listening to the Twentieth Century. By Alex Ross.
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SCOT and TRASE - will be leaving for Australia on Christmas Day. They will be highly missed by Michigan friends over the holidays, but our loss is a gain for IRENE and TONY who will be hosting them for part of their stay.

We're expecting them to send us some digitals to post of the curious and funny and important things that happen.
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BILL FROM WNNCO -
a busi-
nessman -

is naturally plagued with
paperwork and of course
heavy taxes.

He says he's found a solution for cumbersome paperwork: look at this. If it gets any worse, he has provided himself a way out.
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DASHMANN and JOANNE - spent several wonderful days at Daytona Beach and were reluctant to fly back to mid Michigan especially as they arrived home the same day as the storm was hitting. They were really reluctant to catch that plane. They report that Daytona is looking less shabby than it did even a year ago -- the place is sprucing up.
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FELIX - Works for John Mellencamp who will be inducted into the Rock'n'Roll Hall of Fame. Felix points out that he has, as a result of his position, crossed paths with many hall-of-famers such as Donovan (rock and roll) , Mark Messier (hockey), and Larry Bird (basketball) as well as lesser lights such as me. (In the next posting on BIRCHES below, read an excerpt from Felix's latest adventure.)
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ALICE - a teacher, works for an administration so incompetent and untrusting of its professionals that it has required everyone to sign in and out every day. Now she says she wonders how this will apply to homework. Is she not to do any because she doesn't have access to the sign-in sheet? Good question.
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PAT - had put some hazel nuts out in a bowl. Some came up missing. She found one on the basement stairs, another on the floor of the basement. At first, she blamed her careless husband who was totally innocent. Then she found this in a basement corner, along with a bit of loose insulation: