What could be more appropriate than this Earth Day happening: An oil rig is ablaze in the Gulf of Mexico. It sinks. It's outpouring millions of gallons of raw crude into the Gulf.
I conferred with my religious adviser Rat Patterson, I mean Pat Robertson, and he says it's God's punishment for not electing DRILL BABY DRILL candidates Palin and Ghostly, last year. This will keep happening, I suppose, until every pool is black and deadly.
But there is hope! Obama wants to drill. Every new well is an opportunity!