King Smirk
The Dork of Hazard
A good friend of mine, a very prestigious Political Science professor and scholar- may he rest in peace - once explained to me that Condolezza Rice was very sexy, but in political science circles was considered a "light weight." Then she was appointed to high political office by his Lordship, the Viscount of Bush.
Imagine, if he has chosen her as a top adviser how ill informed he must be, how inept at international diplomacy.
And so it has proven to be. Here is the fruit of George's straining at the diplomatic bit. This week:
1. His "friend" President Putin of Russia has said that Bush's efforts to put missiles in Central Europe is as big a danger as the Cuban Crisis of 1962, and that it will cause a serious break in our friendly relations.
2. The Turks have invaded Iraq and are massing more troops on the border, despite Bush's warnings not to.
3. Iran has announced it will go ahead with its nuclear plans despite threats from America.
4. Bush and Codolezza have put unilateral sanctions (which most of the world disavows) on Iran, which now threatens to raise oil prices hugely if we attack them.
A remarkable record! If all goes as it seems to be trending, we should have an enlarged war in Iraq, a furious and fulminating Iran with nuclear weapons, a new war on our hands in Iran, and a Russian bear to the north doing everything it can to stir the pot of iniquity against us.
Thanks, Bush. We are going to try to survive you.
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FIRST RUNNER-UP: Alexander Pichushkin, whose attorneys fought valiantly to have 18 murder charges against him dropped in spite of his confession of 63. The place was Moscow, and this week, the jury did its duty, Guilty! Pichushkin said he was trying to fill a chessboard with victims. A chessboard has 64 squares. Well, he has one square left to fill, and we have a suggestion for where he can easily find that last body: suicide. CLICK
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SECOND RUNNER-UP: Dr. Jack Shepard, a dentist from Minnesota.
If I could vote in the Iowa Republican caucus, I would probably vote for this gentleman, Seriously, I believe he would be a definite improvement over the guy who now lives in the White House and for whom I have nary a nice word.
Dr. Jack is -- well, was -- a dentist in Minnesota. His practice burned down - mysteriously. He is running for President, and would come and do so in person if he could avoid being arrested. Arson charges, you know. He now lives in Rome where the long arm of American justice has not reached out to grab him.
"Since moving to Italy, he says he routinely speaks with high-level Syrian, Iranian, and Hamas officials to assist America's foreign-policy efforts. He believes he is still serving in the armed forces at the age of 60 because his ID card doesn't have an expiration date. He claims he can't come home because he's still serving his country abroad.".
CLICK
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THIRD RUNNER-UP:
Gary Zerola
Former "Most Eligible Bachelor" according to People Magazine, Zerola is a prominent lawyer from Massachusetts who was arrested this week for allegedly drugging and raping a college student in Miami. Turns out he is already under indictment for a similar offense back home. He was once a local prosecutor and now defends accused criminals. Ooops!
CLICK
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