Varieties of American

Heard at the cookout. A lady from Boston:"We should have brought some Sa-mo-as. They sell Samoas right there in the lodge office." (Turns out to be "Smores.")

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We were waiting at the gas station counter at a small town in Tennessee behind which no one stood or sat. Then a southern gentleman came in from the direction of the pumps and said, "They go to lunch?"

I said, "Well maybe they quit and walked off the job."

"Nah," the man said, "he's just a good ole boy." Whereupon, a young guy clearly descended from India or Pakistan walked out and spoke to us in an accent that was not southern. Somewhere there must be a dictionary definition of "good ole boy" that includes Asians.

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Seen on a tombstone: "Here lies the most noble creation of God, an honest man."

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The bagpiper stood in a chilly morning on a windy mountain, and played enthusiastically. So suggestive of a highland hillside in Scotland or Ireland. When it was done, Pat said: "Thank you for the beautiful music."

"Y'all are surely welcome," he answered.