Obama's first day: Our worst fears are fulfilled.

by Ritter Mandimuss,
Washington correspondent

Wednesday, January 21 2009 - The worst fears of patriotic Americans like Sarah Palin have been realized. Wearing his tribal dashiki, yesterday Barack Obama was sworn in as the 44th and last president of the United States. Placing his hand firmly on the Koran, he swore to defend the constitution of the United State of Arabia.

With a large cadre of his bomb-throwing radical friends watching, he repeated his name "Hussein Obama" loudly to the Chief Justice, and then uttered the paean, "So help me Allah!"

Prior to the swearing in ceremony, he and his family, Michelle, Malia, and the communistically-named Sasha, retreated to the newly constructed National Mosque, where the women were dismissed to the basement for ablutions, and the men in the presidential party took up prayer rugs and knelt facing the East. During the prayers, the destruction of Israel was urged upon Allah.

Following the inauguration ceremonies, Obama went directly to the White House where he signed the "Instrument of Surrender" to al Quaeda, just as we all suspected he would do. "The long national act of aggression is now behind us," he commented, as he ordered the Joint Chiefs of Staff to turn all remaining military equipment in the Middle East over to the Iraqi government.