State Dept. warning

Sarcasm warning:

The US STATE DEPARTMENT warns you that you are not safe these day in Europe. You may be blown up or shot or kidnaped. So, you are warned to be very, very vigilant. Watch closely those around you - be suspicious - and do not use public transportation unless absolutely necessary. In Frankfort, Germany, be especially vigilant if you see an elderly person with a penchant for free speech, as they are known to be particularly dangerous.

However, if you see someone who is acting furtive and who looks like perhaps a person from the Middle East or South Asia you must disregard that person. If you see anyone wearing a headpiece usually associated with Afghanis or Pakistanis, they also may be ignored. The reasons are very complicated but our current thinking is that we don't want any Americans profiling their possible killers and then running away. That would be improper. The best advice is to just avoid everyone if you can, and if you can't, call the gendarmes or the bobbies, or the polizei on everyone who comes near.

Be safe out there, Americans!