Sunday, July 22, 2012

Some rules for living in modern America

There are an estimated 300 million guns in America, not counting those in the hands of police and military personnel. This is almost one gun for every person in the country. Counting babies. Counting old people in retirement homes.

If you want to live in this country, here are some simple rules to follow:

1. Stay out of elementary schools, high schools, and colleges. Educate your children at home, or in small groups in other people's homes.  Christian schools are NOT safe as they have been the targets of several multiple killings. Jewish schools are also targets. Even an Amish school was turned into a slaughter place. Of course, public schools are the most likely to have shootings, and those in wealthy communities are more likely to be shot up then those in poor neighborhoods. On the other hand, shootings in poor schools are more likely to occur one-on-one.

2. Stay out of shopping malls and large stores. Shop at small stores and then only in the mornings.

3. Taverns are not likely to be the scenes of mass killings, but they are dangerous on a one-to-one basis. Lots of tavern patrons are armed. Most shootings at taverns take place outside when the target is leaving. Best advice, when you have to leave a tavern, run. If you leave a tavern, do it before dark.

4. Don't go to a post office. There are good reasons for the expression, "going postal".

5. If you go to the movies, go to matinees after the movies have been in town more than a week. Never go at night.

6. It is best not to work in a work place. The best thing to do if you have to work, is work at home. Or be a farmer. Very, very few farmers are ever shot in America.

Most important, don't let the criminals win!  Don't let them make you change just to accommodate their illnesses and fantasies. Follow these few simple rules and you'll be OK.

And let's face it, if you're not the victim, someone else will be. Better them than us, huh?


Sparty said...

However, if you remain in your home but own a gun there's also the problem of death by accidental gun shot. Seems to be a lot of those, too.

Dashmann said...

I hope this is written as black humor, because if you are dead serious then the fear mongers have finally gotten to you and the criminals have won.

Bud said...

I have been accused of being sarcastic. Someone once said, "Sarcasm is not a virtue," but who was that? Hmmmm