Goodbye Alexander Solzhenitsyn

All those years of beating, hard work, and imprisonment in Soviet labor camps didn't do anything for your sociability, but your writing was incomparable.

Nobel Prizes are probably given in the hereafter, also.

They're Coming to Take Me Away (File #25)

This is a wanted man.
Wanted for beating someone in the face with a hammer.

Does this raise any questions in your mind?
Misery loves company.

Sunday silly Sites

(Thanks to JERRY for this) - Pictures supposedly from a man who lives in a garbage truck. click

Russian Communist anti-American posters from the past click

Go here for the 'Worst Video Game ever made.': I kid you not. click

Barney Fife Award #7, Minneapolis Police Department

8 Minneapolis officers involved in raid on innocent man's home get medals; family outraged

Last Dec 19, perhaps in anticipation of playing Santa Claus in a week, the Minneapolis SWAT team charged into the home of Vang Kang and his family, shot the place up, and left the family in a state of shock and anger. It was the wrong house.

Now the cops have received Medals of Commendation and of Valor.

The family escaped injury, despite the gunfire. There were 22 holes left in the walls. The police were not injured. Remember, this award is not being given for Triggernometry or judgment, just bravery.

We think they also deserve our award, and we are very happy to give it. Barney Fife salutes you.

CLICK



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Some past recipients:
Crane County Texas Sheriff's Office - for arresting a National Weather Service storm chaser during a tornado warning. (5/8/08)

Parma Heights Ohio - police officer got drunk and smashed his car into the police department offices.

Memphis Tennessee police department - where an officer, attempting to shoot a pit bull, shot himself instead. (1/12/08)

Wacko of the Week, August 2, 2008

EDGAR MITCHELL --
"Space Cadet"



Dr. Mitchell this week stated in an interview that there are visitors from other planets coming to the Earth.

This man imagines that since he went to the moon, other people can come here. Was it the psychic burdens of a trip to the far side of the moon, or did he ingest too much space dust? How can anyone think that other intelligent beings from far away could be sailing through the deep recesses of space?

Hear his comments here: CLICK

BIRCHES has done a survey of our neighbors and found this: Everyone willing to comment has said that Edgar Mitchell must be nuts. People agree that there is no such thing as aliens from outer space or flying saucers or other such nonsense. If a Gallup poll were conducted of this neighborhood, we would all vote "no" and that ought to settle that. Majority rules. As Harvey Keck remarked: "I ain't never seen none."

BIRCHES has also sought comments from more prominent sources such as Lindsay Lohan and George W. Bush. As Bush said, "er, um." And Lohan commented: "This is manipulative phenomenology illustrative of the Age of Fantasticism in which we now live. We tend to believe that wild things like spidermen and batwomen and gods can be real because they are pitched to us with monotonous regularity in our profit-oriented media. It's another example of capitalist greed overcoming common sense."

From BIRCHES' point of view, Edgar Mitchell represents a very dangerous trend: People believing in things they cannot see. It is sad that a prominent man like this, a man with nothing more than a doctorate in Aeronautics from MIT, can run around pretending to understand these things. Next, it will be the Pope telling us there are angels.

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RUNNERS UP-
BILL SCHRAMM - of Saint Petersburg Florida. He operates an "EXOTIC ART GALLERY" and had a live nude model swinging from the ceiling. But, this is not the only problem, he also served wine. It is illegal to have alcohol in the presence of uncovered genitalia in Florida. Everyone knows that. Off to jail you go.

Has this shocking guy no modesty at all? Who would patronize a place like this? Art, indeed. Oh, by the way, the place is here: 2501 Gallery, Central Avenue, St. Pete's. But, leave your pocket flask at home. CLICK

FLECK and DARCY - The new Bonnie and Clyde, an alleged (and confessed) criminal couple from Philadelphia, who over the last 18 months, have egged the property of more than 400 people. No one said they were very mature. The damage is estimated at $7,000. Why? They wanted to get even with someone and needed to deflect suspicion by hitting lots of innocents as well, or something like that. Oh, go read about it yourself:
CLICK

Poking Fun at the Candidates

Jabs with a real point ----

See more of Mike Luckovich's work here: CLICK

NEWSFLASH: History Lesson

The world's oldest known joke has been found.

It is a saying of the Sumerians, 1900 years ago, who lived in what is now southern Iraq and goes:

"Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap."

You gotta hand it to them there Sumerians: They were a real hoot. CLICK Now if we cold find a way to apply it to modern times. Let's say, the Bush girls?

Update: Tuesday Evening Quiz

There have been several entries so far, and there is still room for more.

Republican Humor (58)

There have not been many Barack Obama jokes surfacing so far, aside from the wisecracks we hear from late night comedians. The press has noted this and speculated about why, some saying that Obama is not attackable like most politicians or that he is not funny. At last, this has come our way, although it may not be original to 2008:
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Barack Obama is a Chicago politician. Like other windy city politicos, Obama goes to the cemetery to register voters.

One night, with a sheaf of registration certificates in hand, Obama went to a very old cemetery in central Chicago, taking along a staff member to hold the flashlight. TRaipsing through a graveyard in the dark was an unnerving situation for the staffer, whose imagination was running wild. The thing to do was keep moving.

They came across a grave so old and worn that they couldn't make out the name on the tombstone. Barack struggled to make sense of the antique engraving. Finally, the staffer holding the flashlight got impatient and nagged, "Oh forget it, let's move on!"

Obama angrily exclaimed, "This person has a much right to vote as anyone else here!"

Poking Fun at the Candidates (1)

Jabs with a real point......


GARY MCCOY CLICK
Clicking on pictures will usually enlarge them

their present, your future

Japanese fast trains in station. Some countries have invested in moving people rapidly overland -- and safely. The United States hasn't. Sooner or later, we will.



Imagine: Detroit to downtown Chicago, 90 minutes.

Tuesday Evening Quiz

It's been a long time since we had a Tuesday Quiz, so here goes, again. How many sets of teeth and whiskers can you identify. That is, who are they on? Send an email.

Whiskers
A.

B.

C.

D.

McCain's spots

John McCain has had a spot removed from his face.

This is not age-related, it's related to sun exposure.

People in their 20's have such spots removed. It's a wise thing to do. McCain should not be criticized for this. No conclusion about his general health can be drawn.

for what it's worth

A thought, for what it's worth 

Is not McCain saying that Obama had a duty to go visit the injured American soldiers in foreign hospitals? 

And has not McCain criticized Obama for going overseas at all, calling it grandstanding? 

And, would this be the same McCain whose policies did so much to place those soldiers in those hospitals? 

Does this mean that McCain has fulfilled his duties by creating the casualties, and now it's someone else's duty to go comfort them?  

I don't much like this side of McCain. 

-Bud  

noted in passing

Michigan State University does not appear this year on the list of top party schools as issued by The Princeton Review.  

First we heard that Michigan's football team had lost it's usual place on the Top 20 list of college football teams, now it's this terrible news about Michigan State. For our poor state, it's just one blow after the other to our self-esteem. 

Monday Morning Friends Report, July 2, 2008

This has been a busy week for the people under the Birches. 

There are advantages to being busy, but one of the costs is that the Friends Report sometimes gets posted late and then sometimes people get skipped because of time pressures. 

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What's going on with some of our folks

SANDY - home from North Carolina.

SPARTY AND GIGI - were surprised by a large group of friends and family at an Anniversary Party. The kids planned it. It was a great event.

DASHMANN AND SKUZZA - home from Ohio.

FELIX - has disappeared again.

PAT W.- Received a letter from Leonardo DiCaprio. She was just thrilled. Finally he had answered some of her fan mail. Then she opened it and found that all he wanted was for her to help save the polar bears.

MARSHA - home from Chicago.

What some folks are thinking and talking about

ALICE - noticed that when Obama was in Jerusalem he placed a prayer message into a niche of the Western Wall. She thought: Someone will steal that. Sure enough, someone did. Not hard to find it with a hundred news cameras aimed at the whole event. Now the prayer's been printed somewhere and some of the "MSM"( which stands in the media for 'MAIN STREAM MEDIA") are all in a stew about whether they should print it. Some Jews say it's a sin. Other people think that stealing is a crime that thieves shouldn't be rewarded. But as Alice says: "Obama would be an idiot to believe no one was going to take it and blab. He can't do anything privately anymore. " She is especially upset with CNN for going on and on about this as if it were important.

Here was Obama's Prayer:
"Lord, protect my family and me. Forgive me my sins and help me guard against pride and despair. Give me the wisdom to do what is right and just. And make me an instrument of your will."


SPARTY- sent around this reference to efforts by the Italian government to preserving the City of Pompeii buried almost two centuries ago by the eruption of a volcano. Many of our readers have gone to Pompeii, so this is recommended reading: CLICK

BILL FROM WNNCO - read and appreciated and then circulated this bit of wisdom from Calvin Coolidge. It's a thought which BILL agrees with.

Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan "press on" has solved and will always solve the problems of the human race.

MICHIGAN BUCKS SOCCER -
BUCKS BOW OUT IN OVERTIME

Late goal pushes Kalamazoo to the next round of PDL playoffs

Pontiac, MI (July 26, 2008) - The top seed in the Premier Development League (PDL) took its toll again as an upset victim in Conference playoffs. The Bucks conceded a goal in the 86th minute to the Kalamazoo Outrage to bring the game level at 1-1 and force overtime in the Central Conference tournament at Ultimate Soccer Arenas. From there Michigan would give up an overtime goal and a final mop up tally in the 120th minute to lose 3-1

.

IRISH MIKE - sent this picture of his attempt to capture the baby skunks that came out from under his shed. Her set the trap, baited it with sardines, and then sat back while the skunks walked into the trap, took the dish out of the trap and dined in the yard.



MARSHA, DASHMANN and BUD -
Last week Marsha sent this puzzle to tantalize us all:

Name a famous figure from early American history whose names, both first and last, contain 5 letters each, made up of only 6 letters, some of them repeated. The same 6 letters also make up the name of a second famous figure from early American history whose first name has 6 letters and last has 4 letters.

Well, Dashmann and Bud have solved it. No one else seems to have, not even Marsha. OH, WAIT. LATE WORD IS THAT MARSHA HAS SOLVED IT AFTER ALL.

The answer is:
ETHAN ALLEN
NATHAN HALE



What some folks are smiling at.

VODEA sent this:

"THE POPE REJECTS CONSUMERISM" 

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JERRY -sent this ethnic humor, perhaps in honor of someone he knows?

Two Mexican businessmen in Tijuana were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up. One said to the other, 'I bet any minute now some idiot tourist is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling'.

No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious Japanese tourist walked to the window, had a peek, and in a thick Japanese accent asked 'What you sell?'

One of the men replied sarcastically, 'We're selling ass-holes.'

Without skipping a beat, the Japanese man said, 'You doing velly well, only two left!'

JERRY also sent: This picture of the David Statue which is returning to Italy after 2 years in the U.S.

Man defends home with his new gun rights.

Jim Adkisson of Tennessee has been arrested as a prime suspect in the shooting up of a church in Nashville. The reason he is a suspect is because he was tackled at the scene by church congregants.

Adkisson evidently lived right next door to the church. The church is a liberal Christian church called: Tennessee Valley Unitarian Universalist Church. We're talking ACLU levels of 'liberal' here, you know, anathema to lots of Southern folk.

This is going to raise some fascinating new questions for the Supreme Court. The Court recently told us that we are all entitled to have firearms in our homes to protect us.

How do we define a threat to our homes?
Can we defend our homes by attacking our threats off our own property?
Can we defend our souls as vigorously as we protect our physical safety?
CLICK

Recommended Reading, from Irene

If you liked the item, just below, about the Neanderthals and red hair, you will really enjoy this, sent from Australia by Irene: CLICK

Not worth Cro-ing about

[Neanderthal]

In the lineage of our family, there is some record of reddish hair.  Not flaming red, no, but sort of auburn reddish.  One of our favorite theories was generated a few years ago  CLICK HERE FOR 2001 STORY that red hair is a left-over from the NEANDERTHAL PEOPLE of Western Europe 30,000 years or so ago.

Naturally, this would mean that Neanderthals had inter-bred with the CRO-MAGNON PEOPLE who came into Europe and displaced the Neanderthals.

Now there has been research suggesting that this is not true. Recent DNA studies indicate that the Cro-Magnons are related closely to modern people, but are not related to Neanderthals.CLICK  

[Cro-Magnon]

Too bad. Under the BIRCHES we liked the idea of being a little more primitive than the rest of the world. It would help explain a lot of things. Let's hope there's lots more research going on to save the legend.

Sunday silly Sites

Oh, LOOK! A bouncing ball. Go here to drive yourself crazy. click


An alphabetical list of Newsday's idea of who were the best baseball players of all time. This is guaranteed to create an argument: click

If you hear of other silly sites you think we might post, let us know. We'll give you credit.